Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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