I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
