Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize