Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
