Sponge bath it is.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
