i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
