Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
if only i could text you this smell
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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