if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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