there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
