she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
