Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Watching her eat just hurts me
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
