accomplished twins. life is a go
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
