he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
