At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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