Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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