Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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