OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
