We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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