I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Randomize
