She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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