it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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