she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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