HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
