cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
We need to get me chipped asap
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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