He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
