She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
