We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
