Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I think your dad took our porno
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
