So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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