I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
