return my video game
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
