yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
