Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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