New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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