My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
