your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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