Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I can't turn off my feet"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
