We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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