i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She's the barista slut.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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