she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
