we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
