So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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