Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize