Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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