Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize