State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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