sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
