At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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