I murdered the dance floor call the cops
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
