my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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