Walk of Shame. In a state park.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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