after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
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Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
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Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I have already put on my inside pants.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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