Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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