If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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