And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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