Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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